O.K…here we go, one pant leg on…got it… now the other… then a prayer (a sincere one!) “Please Lord, allow my pants to button.” Deep breath…because deep belly breathing is supposedly good for you, even though it sometimes makes me more anxious! Doing it properly means inhaling, holding your breath for however many seconds you can while your belly is expanding out, and then exhaling for however many seconds. Too. Much. To. Think. About. But this day...it works and my jeans button! PTL!! Can anyone relate to this scenario?!
It’s literally like I woke up one day and glanced at my mid-section and thought, “O.K... have I been eating like crap these past several months? Or, maybe I have Ovarian Cancer; I should make an appointment with my doctor.” Yes, my brain goes straight to the worst possible scenario, because, c’mon I haven’t been eating that poorly, have I? So, after the doctor’s appointment and learning that it is not cancer, I deduce that it must be the dreaded menopause belly. Fabulous. I feel like (at 48 now) I am living in the age/tension of wanting to appear younger, doing all that I can, well, not all that I can, (I could be doing CrossFit or Orange theory, however, that just does not sound like any fun at all) but the easy stuff like fillers/injectables, Rodan and Fields Skincare, that new MLM teeth whitening paste, it works! Yet, thinking that I don’t want to appear too young (pretty sure this is not an issue, but a girl can dream, right?!) so that people think I could actually have a bun in the oven. Such a conundrum. I read recently that as women age the biggest concern about their bodies is their mid-section, however, as they age they care less and less. Now, that is what I am looking forward to, the caring less and less and the living more and more. I am just not there quite yet. Maybe by 50 I will get to that place of acceptance and stop trying to fight the battle of the bulge. As for now, I will continue the good fight and pray the Lord continues to allow my pants to button, as well as, remind me daily of what is most important, and why I am here on earth, which is to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever, big belly or not.
Full Disclosure: When you see a pic of me on the GTF site, its either an older pic, or I am donning a “Yummie Tummie”/Spanx like tourniquet/tank top underneath whatever I am wearing, and at the same time trying to suck in my belly, OH and pose in a way to lengthen and attempt to eliminate the mid-section. AND, most importantly, I have the BEST photographer (Flawless Faces and Photos) friend who knows how to capture and conceal and photoshop. JUST KIDDING! Please know, truly, that I don’t fixate on this issue during this season of life, I am just highly aware of it! Also, I will not be doing many “fluff” pieces like this one going forward, even though my web-gal bestie urged me strongly to do it for this month, and I am glad she did.
As I pushed forward and backward the seemingly heavy vacuum and saw the white pup hair that was being taken away little by little, I lost it. Literally had a breakdown right there in the living room. The room was quiet except for the hum of the vacuum. It did not matter that no one was around, I could not help but bawl uncontrollably thinking of our beloved Gidget and the fact that we had to put yet another dog down...
What do you do when you lose a beloved pet? Kelly Sue shares her and her husband's journey through their grieving process of losing their beloved dog, Gidget, and how Barkin Dogs Rescue found them not one, but two new pups to adopt and love!
I will never forget the excitement I had going into a meeting with one of my professors, Dr. J back in grad school. I had the idea of launching a Christian clothing business from way back when and he had a side business that helped start-ups. I came prepared with all my notes, my hand-drawn ideas scribbled into a notebook from years ago and a prototype of a zip-up hoodie that had embroidered crosses and verses stitched all over it. I was so excited! See, Dr. J, now this is what I’m talking about! See this cool hoodie??!! It’s a nicer, higher-end product that I really think people would buy! He, of course, has far more knowledge than I and he is asking questions and pondering it all…thankfully not anything like “Shark Tank”; I would never have survived that type of questioning. He was genuinely being a kind fella and hearing me out. At the end of our meeting (as I am walking out) he asked me to write a “Theology of a Hoodie.” K…. hmmm….ok. That’s it? What on earth does he mean, I thought? I also thought, are you kidding me dude, you know full well how many books and papers we must write in graduate school and now you are asking me to (for fun) write a theology of a hoodie?!
Well, here it is almost 8 years later. (BTW I still do not know exactly what he was asking for, however, I have a far better understanding of hoodies after creating and selling them for almost 3 years now). “Theology” means a theological theory or system” I am going with just the theory or system; my guess is that was what he was asking for?
So, here is my brief explanation of how the system works, at least in my case.
Don’t ya love it when someone visibly looks shocked (not fake-shocked for like a tip or something), but, really stunned when you casually mention that you are about to turn 50?! ME TOO!! Hey, I’ll take fake-shocked sometimes. As I ponder this new year, the running thread at the forefront in my mind is about turning 50 in October. Can I lose 20-30 lbs. in that time frame? Is that even possible? Does that mean completely giving up sweets and bread? Will my legs ever look like they did in my 30’s? What can I do to my face/neck/hands to get ahead of this aging thing?
Then I swing to other side and think, really, why does it even matter? Why does it matter if some stranger thinks you are younger than you are? Like you are cheating the system somehow, like you got better genes (jeans?) than someone else? I mean, does it truly matter?!